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VATIC Expressions: Truth, Transparency, Transformation

Volume 1, Fall 2015 Issue. A division of Vatic Publishing®, LLC. 

Destiny Ahead: No Fear Allowed

by Ebony Roberts

At 9 years of age, I remember my mother telling us we were relocating from Illinois to Indiana. I was super excited! I felt such a push of excitement in my belly that until this day I talk about it as if I had lived there my entire life, and as if it were the best place on earth. Today I am 38 with a wonderful husband of 16 years, four beautiful daughters, and I am just realizing that “I have great purpose, beyond anything I could ever imagine.”

Over the course of my marriage, I have had such a desire for relocation that my emotions get the best of me when it doesn’t happen. I always felt as if God was saying “Yes,” but we weren’t moving. Two years ago everything was lined up and ready for us to relocate to Arizona. We prayed, created vision boards, packed up, looked for church homes-- you name it we did it. And then… nothing happened. I was hurt and disappointed, but I knew we had to follow God and what He wanted for us. We came to be in a good place spiritually and mentally in our new church home in Illinois, growing and serving, so I honestly forgot about relocating. In fact, I said “I don’t ever want to bring it up again.”

This year for Mother’s Day I asked for a ticket to Sacramento to visit my family, and that’s exactly what my husband did for me, but he also sent me on a mission. Now, when he said “When you go, see if you like it and maybe we can move,” because of what I had just experienced with Arizona, my response was “No way.” He kept on saying it, leading up to the day he dropped me off at the airport. When I got out of the car he said, “I’m serious. When you get there God will tell you, and whatever He says, that will be what we’ll do”. On the plane I remember saying, “God, I don’t want to like it there.”

When I got to California and was enjoying soaking in all of God’s goodness, He began to deal with me and talk to me about trust and fear. I remember saying to my family “The air is different here.” Upon my return home, my husband and I had a few conversations that led us to seriously considering relocating, and then… he’d lost interest. I started feeling emotional again when I heard God say “You aren’t being honest.” I thought, “Yes I am! He knows I want to move yet he is still not working towards that goal.” So I went back to my husband and told him “If we don’t move this time, I feel I may resent you and the girls.” Wow. I felt a huge relief-- like a massive weight was lifted from me, and my husband said “Thank you for your honesty.”

I share this story because God had to show me something: I had a purpose and destiny long before marriage, children, and even before my parents gave birth to me. God knew who I was, how I was to become and when I would get there. From age 9, I remember wanting to travel the world to see what it was all about. I felt like someone who had been “put on the shelf” when I became a wife and mother, but God revealed to me that He didn’t give the same purpose and destiny to my husband. So, while we may travel together during our lives, my husband will never see it the way I do because he has a purpose and destiny of his own to fulfill.  “Stop blaming him for not moving when you felt he should when, in fact, you were rejecting your purpose and destiny by passing the responsibility of fulfilling it on to someone else,” is what I heard the Holy Spirit say. We all have our own individual purpose and destiny which I believe God is waiting for us to unlock, and when we take on the covenant of marriage, I believe that our individual purpose and destiny compliments one another.

These days, we are walking out God's plan for us together, and having a positive impact on more lives because of it. But, that begins at home, and I had not yet realized how my fear of moving forward (and moving away) would impact my children. Our oldest daughter is now a senior in high school and is currently applying to colleges. She originally wanted to go to UCLA, and that was all she talked about since the 5th grade. We were not happy about that because of the distance, so out of fear we began to tell her all the reasons why she shouldn't go until she believed it. When God started revealing to me all of the relocation fears that I didn’t know were there, it made even more sense that I’d talked my daughter out of fulfilling one of her own dreams. If I wasn't walking in my purpose, and my husband wasn't walking in his, then we are allowing the enemy to rob us of blessings, ministry, friendships, connections, and to rob our girls, of what awaits us in the next season of our lives. More importantly, not trusting God enough to guide our steps-- what did that look like to our girls? Perhaps that we weren't honest because we say “Go ahead and live your life,” but we had been afraid to live our own.

I believe God’s plans are greater than mine and if He did stuff that we actually liked or understood, then we wouldn’t depend solely on Him the way He wants us to. Maybe you struggle with knowing that what God has planned for you is GREAT, and that He loved you enough to give you great treasures and gifts that only you can open. If so, be encouraged: 11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.¹" Jeremiah 29:11-13New International Version (NIV)

Father, I pray that everyone who reads this comes to know You in a more intimate way. Father, reveal to them just what you placed on the inside of them, and show them that it is far more valuable to release that which was given instead of holding it inside. Plant them firmly in the ground they are to flourish in, give them a peace in knowing that You have already gone before them to complete the work, and all they have to do is follow. Thank You, God, for this great opportunity of discovery, and may your blessings and favor overtake them. In Jesus name, amen.

¹Biblegateway.com

Do you know YOUR purpose and destiny? 

Do you believe we can shift our environment by simply obeying God, even when it seems difficult?

© 2015 Ebony Roberts

Comment? Leave one here.

November 5, 2015 Conchita at dcdajam4@***.com said:

Great read!

Positively amazing!!! I'm very proud of you for sharing. This is where the healing takes place for others. Continue to be an instrument for God. Much love!