Truth, Transparency, Transformation
Volume IV, Spring 2018 Issue
When the Two Won't Become One
by David Eagles
Every single day, millions of people disregard a simple truth about power: power is experienced when two opposing parts take their place with each other and connect. How do we know this to be true?? You have appliances you use daily that do not perform unless they're connected: the charger, with its pronged end, won't work unless it's connected, and the outlet, with its inverted secret places, can't supply any support on its own without having something else plugged into it. But when the two get together... power! Restoration!! Production according to purpose!!!
Marriages are quite similar; power is only realized once the two opposite ends come together and connect. Now, this has nothing to do with homosexuality, but we have to note that two same ends trying to come together will NOT bring about the created result (not the desired result... catch that). What we are stating as it pertains to marriage as God intended, however, is that often times (too often, actually), we've not learned how to appreciate the opposite end that is our spouse. When we're not intentional about positioning ourselves to do so, we miss out on the connection; we miss out on the power.
To expound, there's congruence that's supposed to exist between a husband and wife; after all, two straight lines can't do anything but lay on top of each other (catch that, too), but lines that are curved and bend at opposite ends can come together to form something that is seamless in appearance and much stronger by design. But what usually happens is that individuals, either the husband, the wife, or both, find excuses to cherish and worship their individuality, leaving what's supposed to be one as two, with seams in the appearance and are weaker as a result. And we wonder where the connection is; we lament the loss of power or even worse, aren't looking for it at all.
What we fail to realize is that the marriage buy-in is very much like the Salvation buy-in: I've got to give up something to gain something. Husband, there's some things God is calling you to cater to. Wife, there's some things God is calling you to submit to. So when we talk about "bends,” maybe it's your ideals, your ways, some processes, some priorities. When we can't seem to agree, then The Word is supposed to be the glue that brings us together, then binds us together, so that the seams disappear. But the more I look to defend my ways and opinions, the more space I create... the more distance that develops... the more I don't like what I've directly had a hand in decimating... the more room for the enemy.
What's important to remember here is that as the two become one, the differences that we often find nonsensical and deplorable will turn into similarities to be appreciated and protected. Because marriage should say SO MUCH about how God loves us based on the person He's given us, it's not something to be taken lightly (that means you can't just plug into any outlet, and outlets can't just entertain any plug they want... let God do it). Subsequently, if I fight the merger, if I don't let God teach me how to love my spouse the way He does, then I become an enemy of the process and an adversary of the power, the product that's supposed to result. At this point, I'm pushing back on God and everybody else.
To those afraid to grow and to become one, it's wiser to fear losing what, or in this case “who,” God has given us than it is to refuse what and who God has given us, even if we choose to remain in the situation. Staying is not trying by default. And ultimately, you're not losing yourself, you're gaining what you don't or didn't know about yourself (when it's done right); major difference. Connect so that you can be complete. Remember, a cord or an outlet by themselves do nothing, but once they've come together plugged into the spaces they've been assigned to... POWER!
Appreciate the fact that God loved you enough and put enough purpose in you to bless you with someone who can fill in what and where you're missing; and wait on God to send you that person if He hasn't, already. Your destiny is depending on you....
The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him “Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?” And he answered and said unto them, “Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Matthew 19:3-6)
Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. (Ecclesiastes 4:9)
© 2018 David Eagles